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On this late Fall night, I was tired and in a bit of a mood. Practice had been rough and I had some young girls that had learned how to be bitchy. The KJ came up to me and asked if I would mind going first since not many had signed up and a good start usually helped get the ball rolling. So I put in “Hard to Handle” by the Black Crowes and got up and hit it. Afterwards I returned to my spot and accepted some nice comments from the regulars.Some nights Keri would come in horny and I could tell, since she would play with her jet black hair and give me “that” look from across the room. Tonight was one of those nights. I looked over at one point and caught her keeping the beat to a song by tapping on the crotch of her jeans.Tonight she was sitting with some of the regular women and one redheaded woman that I had never seen before. She and Keri were looking at me and talking. Keri was replying to her and gesturing at me until, finally this redhead stood, straightened her dress and walked. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."The judge then asked why she had done it.She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."Square TesticlesAn elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.After many.
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